We haven’t cancelled our wedding. We’re not heartbroken, we’re not devastated, but we have made the decision to postpone a very special day.
Over the last few weeks the entire world has been forced to a halt and it is without great sadness that we’ve had to postpone our wedding until next year. It would seem that by the overwhelmingly wonderful support and love we’ve been shown, that maybe we haven’t reacted in the way most people would having been in our situation, but I think both David and I have similar views on life and on things that are out of our control. A global pandemic being one of them.
Of course, early on we went through the motions like anybody would have done with big plans in place and a lot at stake financially. We actually only endured one argument which consisted of a ‘who was a more positive person’ competition, a strop on my part (shock) whereby I refused to go for a Birthday dinner but ended up in the car five minutes before we left and had a statistics debate up the M5. We honestly couldn’t be more opposite in our ways if we tried because whilst I like to chant positive affirmations into crystals, David needs a spreadsheet with the facts aligned to plan out his next step. Somehow, it works.
As time went by and we started to realise we’d need to address a plan B, things around us were getting worse and the crystals weren’t really working. With this being the only nod to the negative; people were losing their jobs, their businesses, wondering how they were going to pay their rent and it immediately became apparent to us that on top of all those stresses ourselves… WHEN our wedding would happen was not by any means, a stress.
The thing is with a time like this, and my reasoning for not feeling like postponing our wedding is a big deal is that there has never been so much uncertainty in our lifetime for absolutely everybody in the world. People can’t find formula to feed their babies, people may not be able to give birth with their partners in the same room, those who’ve lost people close to them via this virus or not can’t even arrange a funeral during this time and with all those things going on in individual lives, the real heroes have no choice but to get up every day and go to work. NHS staff, hospitality, and service-based workers don’t even have the luxury to stay at home to avoid getting it. After those long shifts and extra hours they still have a family to go back to whereby keeping them safe is just as important as it is to any of us.
I ask you please to look at what this has been sent to teach us. For me, nothing is more important than laughter, love and the people who mean the most and so throughout these stressful, uncertain few weeks (feels like years, I know) nothing apart from those three things have mattered to me. Choosing to postpone our wedding hasn’t been a tough decision or a heart breaking ordeal and although there’s still a few stressful financial implications, what’s out of our control can’t be changed and no amount of stress and tears would put us back in control. It’s been the right decision and I am grateful for everything it’s taught me about my relationship in the process.
Maybe we needed to slow down and appreciate everything we have around us. The local bakeries have been flooded with support and the local businesses shared amongst the community ten times more than usual, people across the internet are supporting one another in a way I haven’t ever seen before, we’re reading, we’re learning, we’re healing, taking things in and appreciating things we’re guilty of taking for granted. Not to mention that although amongst the British we seem to encapsulate morons who think it’s OK to buy 175 toilet rolls in one go, we are also capable of creating some hilarious online entertainment that makes laughing continuous.
During such a difficult and unprecedented phase, I can’t help but see some beauty and I urge you to try and see the same. Take this forced upon us time to cherish everything you HAVE. This isn’t forever, the science has told us that (bet that started with a spreadsheet) so do everything you can to make this work for you. The world has not ended and it’s scary, and the unknown is a lot to deal with, as is the loneliness for some but we live in a time where even with what may seem like nothing, we still have everything. Do what you have to do to get through it but know you’ll survive it with more strength than before when you come out the other end.
It didn’t feel appropriate to address our Wedding plans in this blog in too much detail because right now, I don’t care and we don’t care. We have everything we need and next year we’ll get to celebrate that in most beautiful country with the people we love the most. For now, it isn’t about us, it isn’t about you, it’s about coming together (not literally, stay home) and uniting through an ordeal where at some point this summer (with a Corona in hand) we won’t find as painful.
So, let this time be. Focus on what you have and what this is forcing you to appreciate.